LA Noire Drinking Game

Cheer up bud, Perhaps the sequel will be a more entertaining game.

By special request of friend and Thirteen1 music expert Alec-Ross Bower, I have taken a look at LA Noire to create a drinking game. Now I have only the first few hours of this game and I would normally give it longer but I think there are enough repeated actions already to make this work. Personally I could not play the game sober as it bored the crap out of me, but it actually made it playable.

Now this is one of my few solo drinking games but it can also very simply be turned into a group drinking game by handing the controller to the right between cases and having everyone else in the room do the drinking instead of the player.

Now for anyone that has not read one of these drinking games before, here is an important little fact. When I refer to ‘A Drink’ I am talking about a quick gulp of whatever beer takes your fancy. Personally that is Guinness, but you know what you can handle and I will leave it to your common sense beyond that.


My Hats off to you: Whenever Cole manages to lose his hat Take a Drink if its shot off his head Take 2 Drinks

I’ll have a chaser with mine: Whenever the game suddenly throws Cole into a foot chase Take a Drink

Once a Beat cop, Always a Beat cop: Whenever a street crime comes in over the radio, Take 2 Drinks if you ignore it, Take 1 Drink if you handle it.

Someone has to pay for the damages: At the end of each case, Take 1 Drink for every $1000 of damage & injuries

Drink to forget: Whenever Cole has a flashback to his time in the army Take a Drink

Wasting police time: Whenever you pick up and inspect something on a crime scene that has nothing to do with the case Take a Drink

Nothing worse than self-doubt: During an interrogation if you having to back out of accusing the suspect of a lie Take a Drink

After playing this a few times, I can indeed confirm this is a Very Heavy drinking game

Gears of War 3 Drinking Game

Nothing like being the last man standing!

This week the Gears of War franchise returns with its third instalment. While I have never been very good at the multiplayer when taken online, it has been a regular feature of my gaming nights since first game.

That said, I have never sat down and thought about a drinking game for them as we are all usually pretty hammered by that point anyway.

So this release I think its time I fixed that oversight and have taken a look at the multiplayer modes with an eye to getting drunk.

Now for anyone that has not read one of these drinking games before, here is an important little fact. When I refer to ‘A Drink’ I am talking about a quick gulp of whatever beer takes your fancy. Personally that is Guinness, but you know what you can handle and I will leave it to your common sense beyond that.


Warzone & Execution modes

The other Carmine brother –  When someone on your team dies and you are still alive, Take a Drink.

Team Deathmatch

Pay the Reaper – When you have to use a respawn you have to pay the price. Spawns 20 to 11, 1 Drink. Spawns 10-2, 2 Drinks.  Final Spawn – Finish your pint

Capture the Leader

Your princess is in another castle – When your leader is captured, Take a Drink. If you then fail to save your leader before the 30 seconds is up, Take another Drink.

King of the Hill

This is my spot and I’m not moving –  When you capture a point, Take a Drink

Wingman Mode

Fallen Comrade –  Whenever your wingman dies, Take a Drink. 

They made such a nice couple as well – Whenever a team is completely killed, Take a Drink

Beast Mode

Lambent Warrior – At the end of each wave the two players with the lowest kills must take 2 Drinks, Everyone else 1 Drink

That’s all there is too it, a simple set of rules for the multiplayer modes (above and beyond the classic, drink when you die). Because of how fast some of these events can occur is would classify this as a Heavy drinking game.

Bayonetta Drinking Game

Ok, sexy librarian fantasies can be kept to yourself

I have looked back over my files and realised that a few of my older drinking games that have yet to make it onto the site, strangely among them was this one for Bayonetta.

Now it may have been held back for a simple reason, it is one of my very few solo drinking games.

You see for me a drinking game is something that you should do socially, however there are occasions where I find myself sat down playing through a single player campaign and think ‘well I’m drinking anyway, I may as well make a game of it’. In those occasions I will usually try to make it a game where one player is playing and everyone else in the room drinks.

However this on was not, it truly was a solo drinking game – though I am sure it could work with the controller passing from player to player at the end of each verse.


Always a Sucker for a pretty face – Whenever you have/want to use a lollipop a price must be paid – 1 drink

Doing a good job is its own reward – at the end of a verse you have a drink, 3 for platinum, 2 for gold and 1 for anything else

Is this the way to Alfheim? – Any time you find a portal to Alfheim, have a drink

Nobody expects the Spanish inquisition! – Any time you pull off a torture move, have a drink

Every woman likes to go shopping – Each time you buy something from Rodin, have a drink (once per trip)

Now when you stick to a drink = a solid gulp of beer as I do this game will last you a while as I only classified it as a Moderate drinking game when it was initially created.

Super Street Fighter 4 Arcade Edition Drinking Game

So many characters to choose from, so why does it always come back to just Ryu, Blanka & Dalsim?

This month saw the release of the latest incarnation of Street Fighter, Super Street Fighter 4 Arcade Edition. Now while it would just be a good drinking game making people say the full title fast 5 times and if they fail make them drink, I think I can do a bit better than that.

However this is still an old-school beat-em-up and as such needs a classic drinking game to go with it. As always with my beat-em-up drinking games are meant to level the playing field, skilled player or lucky button-basher this game will bring everyone down to the same level soon enough.

As with all fighters this is best played winner stays on.


To the victor the spoils: When you win a round – Take a drink

Drowning your sorrows: If the last attack of the round is a special attack – Take a Drink – if it’s an ultra – Take two drinks.

That’s just pitiful: If you lose the round to a ‘Perfect’ – Take two drinks

Ultimate Street Fighter: If a player manages to keep the controller for a full circle of all the challengers in the room, Everyone else in the room has to take two drinks

So as always, when I refer to ‘a drink’ I personally count that as a solid gulp of beer. This is so that our drinking can last for longer, however you know your limits and can drink whatever you want.

With that in mind I would classify this as a Heavy Drinking game.



‘Splosion Man & Ms ‘Splosion Man Drinking Game

I wonder what the climax would by like if two 'splosion people got it on......and now you too can share in the strange mental image that thought produces

Earlier this month I got to enjoy the beta of the upcoming Ms ‘Splosion Man. This is the sequel to the incredible ‘Splosion Man that was released during the 2009 XBLA ‘Summer of Arcade’. This game is a staple of the team games nights, however we normally don’t start playing it till were already very drunk.

For that reason I never sat down and came up with a drinking game for it, but with a sequel coming I think it’s about time I fixed that.

As this game is playable in both solo & co-op it took me a little while to come up with a set of rules that would work for both, but after giving it some thought that’s exactly what I managed to do.

What is an added bonus is that since I first drafted this Ms ‘Splosion Man has been released and after giving it a trial I can confirm this game works just as well (if not better due to the world map)  for the sequel as well.


Start a new game, either solo or co-op, and play the game as normal. The core of the game is for the played to keep going for as long as they can without getting killed. Everyone else in the room should take a drink every 30seconds / 1minute.

To help with the timing I have created some sound-files that you can download and use

  • Sonic Ring: 30 Second Drink Timer (Download)
  • Mario Life: 60 Second Drink Timer (Download)

When the players reach the end of the file (each have a special sound for that) or the players die the control is passed to the person on the right. When playing co-op this will mean players get more of a break from drinking, but for that reason there is also the bonus rule.

Bonus Rule

Max ‘Splosion: While playing, upon death or the end of the sound-file – Take 2 Drinks

As always with any of my drinking games, what you drink I leave up to you – you all know what your own limits are. Personally we go with a drink meaning a solid gulp of beer, meaning that we get steadily drunk and can make a night of it.

Overall then I would classify this as one of my Heavy drinking games.


MotorStorm: Apocolypse Drinking Game

The world is going to shit and still these people race.

From Monument Valley to the Arctic Circle, the Motorstorm series has taken us to some very weird and wonderful places.

This latest edition sees us in a city in the process of falling apart around us.

It’s only fitting that if the world is supposed to be falling apart around you, you should celebrate that fact by getting wasted as well.

Before I get to the rules as always I like to remind readers new and old that when I refer to a ‘Drink’, I have a solid gulp of beer so that I can enjoy my gaming for longer, but you all know your own drinking limits so it’s up to you what you choose to drink.


Hood Ornament – When you run over one of the Crazies still inhabiting the city, Take a Drink

Environmental Disaster – If you are destroyed by something on the track changing, Take a Drink

Hot-Headed – Keep you foot on the boost for too long and blow yourself up, Take a Drink

Making your Point – Show off by blowing yourself up on the finishing line while in first place, Everyone else in the room takes a Drink

Final CallTake a drink for every place below 1st Place you finish in (maximum of 4 Drinks), SO 1 Drink for 2nd, 2 Drinks for 3rd etc.

Obviously make sure all the racers are drinking or your going to start losing regularly, as for classification I would say this is a Moderate to Heavy drinking game.